bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
