Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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