Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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