if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
