i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need to sanitize my soul.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
