All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
