I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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