I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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