I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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