After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
