3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
