it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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