I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know her cup size but not her name....
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