arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
