U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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