I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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