i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Every concussion has its silver lining
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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