im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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