it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
