So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
