I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
