i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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