He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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