guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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