I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
accomplished twins. life is a go
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
