I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you never un-have a 4some
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
