the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there was a trapeze. enough said
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
