If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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