Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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