I heard we made out
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
