One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize