i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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