she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
