High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
