i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
