So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
