Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
