the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
