i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize