i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
