Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
