Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
