you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
