Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
