all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
