he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize