Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
