she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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