i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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