Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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