we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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