I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
