Just fell off a train. Bad.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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