i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
