I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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