New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
