I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
