I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
