I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dignity is for republicans.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
