Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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