if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
