He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
