i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
